Fear, almost 600 miles away

It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?

The last few weeks have been a flurry of packing and packing. Hot showers to soothe aching back muscles from loading up boxes and piling them in an extra bedroom. More packing, and the act of going through our life here. Deciding what to keep and what to discard.

I am also petrified. I am terrified because of my youngest child’s food allergies. We will be driving 19 hours to our new home, the children and I in the family vehicle, my husband in the rental truck. This 19 hour trip will be punctuated by an overnight hotel visit. A fact of life is that hotels and motels are often located in the close vicinity of fast food restaurants. Another fact is that I am sure there are a lot of people who pick up fast food and eat in their hotel rooms. As I am also sure that the cleaning staff, good as they may be, are often rushed, and may miss something.

Two years ago my husband dropped his stick of deodorant on the bathroom counter, wiped up the bit that broke off, and went on his way. Later that day, my child touched that spot, touched her face and developed a reaction. Hives where she touched, accompanied by a tightness of her throat. We did not need her Epi-Pen Jr. that day, thankfully. The antihistamine was sufficient. We are going to do a wipe down of all hard surfaces, I am going to cover the bed with a flat sheet of ours, use our own pillows and one of our blankets. And I am still so frightened that it won’t be enough, that she will have a reaction, that it will be bad.


I’m trying to be calm and focus on the fact that we will be doing everything we can to keep her safe.